Chapter 4 – The Journey Closes, the Mission Begins

At last, I have fulfilled my goal of sharing my healing journey — a gift I wish to offer to the community, in line with the intention I held after my recovery. I hope that these reflections, however small, can become a source of encouragement, a light for those who are still searching for a way out, so they may overcome their illness and return to the beautiful life that has always been theirs.

There is one thing I must admit: after going through depression, anxiety, and psychosis, I am no longer the person I once was. I have become a different version of myself — perhaps not better, but more understanding of who I truly am.

In my recent follow-up visits, my doctor has repeatedly asked me a very simple question:

“How many hours do you work each day?”

A question that seems ordinary, yet so different from before — when I had not yet recovered, and the questions revolved around my sleep, my appetite, my emotions, and my loss of control. That question made me realize that healing is not just about “recovering,” but about learning how to live again — in a completely different way.

I have learned to accept a “new normal” — after a long period of not treating myself fairly. For me, it simply means not working more than four hours a day, as advised by my doctor. Because I understand that if I am not mindful enough to listen to my body, this illness could return at any time.

There was a time when I exhausted my Mind – Body – Spirit in pursuit of goals that I believed had to be achieved in order to have a “perfect ending,” so that I could feel at peace before retirement… But now, looking back, I understand that living differently is no longer a choice — it is a necessity.

I choose to live more simply. To treat my Body with fairness, so that my Mind can remain peaceful and my Spirit clear and aware.

I hope that you will not have to go through what I have gone through. But if you are on that journey, please believe that you will get through it — when you are willing to connect, to open your heart, and to receive support from the community, from those you love, and from those who love you.

Yesterday, at my friend’s request, I met a woman who is going through depression. We met with the hope that my story might help her open up, understand where she is, and find a way forward to return to a normal life. From the very first moment, I saw my past self in her: distant eyes filled with anxiety, nearly depleted energy, and difficulty expressing even simple thoughts…Yet she was also different from who I once was — she had already taken the step to seek help, to seek empathy from someone who had walked this path. And to me, that alone was a light.

I do not know which path she will choose from what I shared. But I hope that even just one thing — one small step — will be enough to help her begin again. After that meeting, I realized how fortunate I am. More than that, I felt truly happy — to have the opportunity to help others, even in the smallest way. Perhaps this is one of the “missions” of the new journey that God has entrusted to me.

And if there is one thing I want to hold on to after everything, it is this:

what once hurt me… has now become something that helps me heal others.

My journey may come to a close here —but the journey of healing, together with the community, continues…gently, resiliently, and full of hope.